hmmm
I havent written for a while. at least for a week. I havent felt much like writing. Things have been busy at home, and I have been visiting family quite a bit. The other thing I hve been doing is getting regular sleep, at regular times, it seems as tho my insomnia has passed and the doctors can now pat themselves on the back for not knowing what it was that made me stay up at night. Heh. makes a change feeling sleepy at 10.30 at night and actually going to bed.
I am suffering writer's block as well. just dont feel like I am able to express myself, which is frustrating. VERY frustrating. I dont feel eloquent. *shrugs* Good things tho, one of my best mates is finally contactable and we had a long gossip session on the phone over the week end. That has improved my outlook on things. Coffee with my non irc friends is being organised for the next week or so, and I am looking forward to seeing “my girls”. I have been looking at various courses I can do aswell, I need to change career direction. I dont mind working for Mark and doing office temping, but I HATE IT - its BORING - I need a challenge. hmmm
I read this in September's Cleo about a phenomena called the quarter life crisis.. interesting in a weird way, ppl reflecting on their first 25 yrs. What have they achieved.. what they havent. Also astrologers also have a similar theory, there is an Astrological Coming of Age called Saturn Return. It strikes between the ages of 28 - 30 it occurs when saturn returns to the point of origin in the sky when you were born and is no easy ride. Its a time of re-evaluating and learning, you may feel as thoug all the major things in your life (relationships, career, health, family, friends and money, are being hsaken up and inspected - and going from my personal experience over the last few months I can definitely say a big YES to all of that which is going on in my life. Its a period when we examine our lives, judge our achievements and decide whther or not we are on the right path. We take what we have learnt and use our experience to guide us when we make our future decisions.
I have definitely done alot of ME thinking, being totally selfish and withdrawing from everyone, including family to focus on MEMEMEME. All I can say is Mark has been totally supportive in a way, and it has been a tough time with him having to deal with me, AND the business. I feel guilty about that. I have added to the pressure that he is under with working and me having my issues. funnily enough, I have resorted to repeating some mistakes I made earlier in life recently, which maybe might give me a chance to find a better way of not making them in the future.
Something else I want to say. to my friends who read this, and any strangers who may also read it. After what happened last week in the US, I realised for the first time that nothing is as important as those you love, even if there are issues between friends, family or those ppl out there that dislike you for being who you are. You take all of these people for granted. I have before and have done so recently. I apologise to all my friends for being absent, for not contributing to your lives - but please note - I appreciate you all. I think about you every day, I wonder how you are and I hope you are well - and no matter what, even if we drift away and have nothing more to contribute to eachother's lives, you have enriched my life and given me many pleasant memories which will last a lifetime, I hope in someway I have enriched yours.
Love Kisses and Hugs :-))
lori