not long after i posted this morning and gone to bed, my mum rang. My Gran fell last night before she went to bed, and the nursing home staff didnt find her until nearly 7am this morning.

She had lain there all night by herself in that room injured. She has broken the ball joint of her hip, and was going into hospital at 3. i still havent heard yet how she is.

i feel sick inside.

attending a family gathering.

this is what i have to do - attend one this afternoon. Meet ppl I havent met before, smile at the cousin I really dislike, and her Mother, who is rude to me cos I am not perfect or some thing

I am filled with insecurities. They all have expectations. I feel like a stranger in my own family, each time there is a gathering I sit mostly alone or with my gran, sometimes with dad. I feel trapped when i am in room with a relative. Like awkward ppl that cos of blood ties you have to get on with or be polite too.

I havent slept yet

i have sat awake in bed all nite

blah

Your EVIL Test Results

(Score: 159 out of 200)
79.5%
Very EVIL!

Yes! You are very evil indeed! In fact, we are quite proud of your efforts to make the world a living hell. You will find that most mortal humans shiver with fear in your very presence, and that animals run and hide when you approach. You carry a frightening air of evil wherever you go, and just by talking to people you can easily (and sometimes inadvertantly) influence people into acts of cruely, dishonesty, disloyalty, and other various delightfully unpleasant actions. Mind you, you are certainly not perfect, but your evil stature has earned our respect (even though that probably means nothing to you, since you neither seek nor require anyone's approval). You have made admirable strides in our cause. Good job! I mean, BAD job!

Bahhahahahaa - evillolly stalks the land.

You will find the evil test here