For those people who like to know what products they have to check to see if they have before returning it to their place of purchase …

Pan Pharmaceuticals Limited Manufactured Products for Immediate Recall (shown in alphabetical order by product name)

This list will grow as they figure out how many products were affected by cross contamination, ingredient substitution and fake test results.

[geek] Puts on geek clothes to do what alot of other bloggers to and comment about IT news in the world …
Interesting news in the IT world over the last 24 hours: Internet rivals unite to fight spam. 29/4/2003. ABC News Online. Yay for people like me who get spammed so much that reading my email is like picking up a magazone full of pr0n advertisements. (sees that her blog will now be looked up by a majority of people looking for p0r|\| sites. Also another bit of interesting news was this internet piracy ruling. A good result when you think that potentially it could affect the development of software which might have perfectly legal uses… yay for the good guys! [/geek]

I’ve had some interesting discussions with a friend recently on how I make friends and then try and keep them away from me. Some things in my life are not perfect, and IRC is a good way for me to escape those problems, like reading. When I am particularly stressed, reading also becomes very important. Friends, I don’t want them getting close to me because they hurt me. I have one friend in particular that I have been good and close with for 3 nearly 4 years. She made a snide comment to me when she was in a bad mood which totally hurt. Nothing has ever been the same since because She used a moment when we were together and I was talking about my relationship problems, inserted her own version there and then used it as a cheap shot in an argument which was had infront of some other people. So I withdrew. [/pooroleme]

Speaking of blog reading. I get alot of lookups from google searches now. More than anything else, I have some people who are regular readers! (waves to sue, dave, & the dude i had the blog fight with) and mostly people who do weird searches using google with nothing else better to do. I don’t think I mind so much. I used to get lots of people coming from aussie blogs, but recently, that hasnt been happening. I should try and find out why. But is it really necessary?

Do I need every man and his dog reading this thing. Probably not. Then its just an exercise in narcissim. Sometimes its nice to kow that people might agree with some of the things I have to say. I don’t always include personal stuff, but yes, there are moments when I do, just through my commenting on other things. I wrote to Aussieblogs tho, since I am no longer getting webtraffic from it and asked them what’s the problem!! I am concerned! I like being able to see who looks me up so then I can find their sites and look them up. I love reading about other people’s ideas, lives and views.

Books I am reading at the moment? Bring on the Bene Gessritt sisters, I am reading the prequels to dune, written by the son of Frank Herbert! I love em. DUNE I say!! give me more sandworms! give me spice!! (always made me think of cinamon for some reason)

enough of my ramble for now…

What is the best hair shampoo? The stuff I am using now is crap. My hair gets limp and droopy after 24 hours. I hate it. Sometimes I wish I was bald!

I watched Red Dwarf Season 2 today .. on my day off from work and it was funny. Funny how I never got into it the first time around. ..

I wrote this a long time ago. But I think this suits you. Welcome to Live Journal.

Scorn.

Your shallowness amazes me,
Your vapid airs are thin.
I cant believe you seem to be
so successful with the crap you spin.
Better spend your time and brains,
doing something cool.
Like working or fighting ills and pains,
instead of acting the fool.
lr.o1

One day .. i opened up explorer and got sent to..

www.google.com.au

No matter what i did, i kept going to google.com.au. and i didn’t want that. I wanted google.com!

So I wrote to them..

From: ME [mailto:me@me.net]
Sent: Sunday, 20 April 2003 12:18 AM
To: ‘help+au@googledotcom’
Subject: changing my url homepage.

lori (lazy A-type Virgo personality)

They fired off a quick response! Which judging from the time.. they were precognitive and sent it before i sent my email.

From: helpatgoogledotcom
Sent: Sunday, 20 April 2003 12:16 AM
To: me@me.net
Subject: Re: [#2112188] changing my url homepage.

Regards,
The Google Team

awwww warm fuzzies! its the google team! However on the plus side, my url no longer defaults to google.com.au - but they never wrote to me and personalised their reply .. I feel rejected. Maybe I should write to all major websites and see what kind of auto respond emails we get. In addition I added to my webrings. I hope they like me!! *does an extra cheesy grin*

And I took a number test. Normally I do not participate in online quizzes, but its one thing to take a number test and find out.. that I am an imaginary number.. how unique…

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa

*tip toes through journal land*

i'm still watching you all :>

I have returned from the scattering of the ashes. Breakfast was uncomfortable and awkward. We had to pay $17.50AUD for a buffet, which by the time I got to have my food, was no food there.. so I feel a tad bit ripped off. My other half has the flu, so it was general misery all round. I tried to talk, but no one was interested in talking to me, I don’t think it was a problem because of me, but more like no one wanted to “talk” so chatter was vapid.

We drove down to the beach at Mosman Park and wandered down to the shore in pairs, virtually everyone had a partner/wife/husband etc.. I remember how when I was younger there were fewer of us, just 6 children 10 adults, now there’s 25. The sun was bright and hot, sluggish cool breeze which didn’t offset the heat really. So everyone stood around and discussed the merits of which side we should throw the ashes, the stone groyne extends about 40 metres or there abouts into the ocean, with a sandy/seaweed beach on one side and rocks on the other.. The rocky side was chosen, more water.. looked prettier. Everyone moved to stand around on the rocks overlooking the water except for me.

I had Terry saying, “come on over here”. I was replying without wanting to be rude “no its ok - I am happy here”, then one of my cousins walked around and tried to convince me that it was ok, sand and stuff there. They just didn’t get it. I don’t need to stand that close and not see the ashes poured. Grief is personal, I did the group thing at the funeral. This was my time to watch it. It was beautiful tho… Uncle David climbing down to the water line, roses and carnations thrown into the water as gran’s ashes were poured, and the rosepetals emptied in.. The dark water was awash with colour; red, yellow, white and pink petals.. being stretched out as the tide took it out to sea.

Whilst this was happening, an old man with two dogs walked past, watched and then as he was leaving said, Dust to Dust. I stared out over the water to where my family stood, scattered amongst the rocks, solitary in those moments as we watched the flowers drift. It was a truly beautiful moment. Despite the fact I didn’t want to go, and relive the grief, even gran would have appreciated the gesture. It went from being corny to beautiful, and my family were transported to my mind as being story book perfect. If I ever learn to paint, then I would paint the scene that I was standing before, whilst everyone had the same image on their rocks, mine will be unique.

Afterwards when champagne was passed around, Uncle David and another uncle were stood close by, and David lowered his voice, and said, “There was alot of ash wasn’t there”

My other uncle nodded and replied in his thick scottish brogue “yes there was, quite remarkable really” I’d have to agree.. it was remarkable.

Once again, tho tired I sit here in the wee hours of the morning cnotemplating my granma. We have to scatter her ashes in the morning.

I wonder if I am cold and heartless when I say to my mother I don’t want to go. I had a hard enough time dealing with gran’s death. I haven’t felt inspired, I haven’t felt joy, instead I look at people and I see egg timers above their heads marking the time until they pass on. I look at myself in the mirror and see the marks of time on my face. Remarkably, I have very few lines on my face, I don’t have wrinkles, I am going to be 30. I see some lines under my eyes where I smile, and some across my forehead where’s its been furrowed with deep thoughts.. or so I hope.

I have actively been taking care of my skin since I was 21, but more recently I’ve been thinking about my own mortality. So I get better moisturiser, work harder to lose that weight and begin to think about the things I haven’t done. Which is stupid. I think tho in some way what some of my family are being melodramatic. (looks at the invitation) I felt sick looking at it. Mum tried to explain to me that some people need closure. I don’t want to look at some grey dust and think of gran. I can’t face the idea that she’s finally gone. I want to know that Gran’s reading in her room with her favourite Sidney Sheldon book peering over her glasses at me and smiling wondering what I am up to.

I went on a buying spree today and brought CD’s i might listen to once or twice and never pick up again. Just things that would fill the void. Worst of all, I’ll be alone. In my head. I might have a cross on to remind me of people and places where I would give anything to be. Just to be held.