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Its warm and muggy. The clouds are hanging low in the sky and rumbling onimously and when you step outside, it is like a sauna - the ground moist with rain.. not wet, because it’s evaporating almost as fast as it’s hitting the ground. We have the airconditioner on this morning - not something we do this early during the day, and I have my coffee and notepad, waiting for the day to end so i can go to bed and wake up in the morning at 6am for work.
I’ve had 3 midday - 6pm shifts, and I feel like I haven’t slept for an of them. We have a house inspection today, mark and I did some general tidying up before the cleaner came.. I don’t know many people who will clean a house before a cleaner comes in… but that’s what we do. She did a great job on some of the problem areas we have, bathroom, laundry.. She cobwebbed. She’s not afraid of spiders like I am. I am such a fraidy cat when it comes to seeing 8 legged creatures wandering around my house.. [insert scream here]
I start work in 7 minutes. Today however I have no enthusiasm. C my boss I think might feel a little intimidated by me because I sometimes question her decisions .. not because I am after her job, but because I don’t see the sense. Like making her partner a manager for a call centre. What experience would he have? If it’s sales, then I don’t see how he could be useful, he’s a tradesman, not a deskjockey or sales person.
So, I offer to help, but I really feel tired of offering my help and experience when to her, I am so obviously inexperienced and my management style is a little too.. up front. If I see something wrong then I tell people, and then tell them how it should have been done. C believes that getting them to do favours is the way to go. “Can you do me a really big favour please.. can you do this blah blah” to get whoever she is asking to do the work. That seems like begging to me. Perhaps me being the dragon lady as i was called in the last work place where I supervised staff was because I made alot of requests, but they were never personal, so those girls stayed my friends. I dunno.
Is it wrong to be direct? straight down the line and honest? or is it better to sugar coat? I feel a little disillusioned. I am supposed to be managing Customer Support for this new company, but I can’t call myself a CS Manager, it has to be supervisor. I think I have C second guessing me so staff still go to her, but that wasnt what we discussed when I took over managing this project.. So.. I dunno. *sigh*
I have avoided IRC for a couple of days and feeling relaxed about it. Too many drama’s with some friends. Other’s are leaches. Like MP - I told him I didn’t want to be his personal lackey - which was a reason why I wasn’t wanting to be close to him, talk to him, encourage him to talk about ASD stuff which he does, and he gossips. But still, he messages me to get me to help people. None of my friends do that, and I mean my real friends - not these people who rock up and start calling me their mate - love - friend - or that we’re tight. It irritates the hell out of me.
I put up with him because I can see he’s young, he is enthusiastic, he’s made a couple of wrong decisions, he just wants to belong and fit in, and I can understand that, I was like that too at his age (except not on IRC) He tries so hard for me to like him, the whole peer pressure thing is happening and i know that he probably needs it for his self esteem. I don’t know if it’s because I pity him, or I remember myself at that age.
The hardest thing for me to be, is honest with people on IRC because it’s in writing and most of the time people don’t want to read it. So the way to avoid problems is not to talk about it at all, then I don’t need to lie. However there are times when I grit my teeth and tell people exactly what I think and sometimes it works, and other times it doesn’t. I know alot of people think I am prickly and hard to get to know, So mebbe that’s true - but I just get tired of ASL questions, and the fact is, alot of guys are sleazy (even some girls) and it’s easier not to talk to anyone new in case they want to crack on to me, or try and pretend they are my friend so they get into ASD.
Man I sound big headed. But it’s true. So all this IRC stuff .. I just decided to take some time out and get off the computer after work and not log onto IRC. I will be logging on later tho. One of my best friends is turning 30 tomorrow and I want to make sure I am around to chat to them. I need more sleep. *yawn*
end of soapbox time, I didn’t feel like being funny or witty today.