The Angry Dieter

The Angry Dieter

It’s about Lori, not about diets

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For all those disappointed women out there…

I Will Survive

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I’d spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .

But there you are, Another lie
I was ready for a big mac and you’ve bought me a French fry
I should have known that it was bullshit
Just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans

Go on now go,
Walk out the door
Don’t you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4
Weren’t you a prat to think I wouldn’t catch you out
Don’t you know we’re only joking when we say size doesn’t count

I will survive, I will survive
Cos as long as I have batteries
My sex life is gonna thrive
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex

I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud
But to hell with all your ego’s and to hell with all your needs
Now I’m saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed

Go on now go, Just make a dash
Last time I saw a p*rick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation
Should have asked for referees
Then I wouldn’t have you waving that wee winky thing at me

Go on now go, Just hit the track
Don’t you bring me home no tiddlers, Cos I’ll always throw them back
The only thing that I could do with a p*rick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.

(Chorus
Go on now go
Get out of my sight,
I’m going back to my appliance,
Cos I know it’s length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You’ll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.

Go on now Go

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