Hallmark holidays
Valentines Day is one of those Holidays that make chocolatiers, card shops and florists quite wealthy. For the singles - they might buy themselves flowers from a florist and get them delivered to their places of work, just to look like someone cares. I’d do that, but - I am not working tomorrow 
So no one would see.
Really, breaking up during the “holiday” season is pretty bad. There’s a few firsts to go through for that year. First single christmas, first new years without that hug, first valentines day without an argument about why he didn’t take you out to dinner, the first birthday that passes without a card. Mind you, I’ve had 3 birthdays now without the birthday card. The last one I got in Sept 2001, I found again recently and made me cry, so I threw it out.
I woke up late sunday after sleeping in, the power went out, the alarm clock was of course re-set. I read my email. I did write a reply but decided not to send it. I am glad I didn’t - chances are it would appear in the poison pen websites that are dotted around the place. The picture for Sunday’s post was a general indication of my mood. It will apply for every time I don’t feel like talking, so will be used instead of text.
So I think I’ll go for a walk on Valentines Day - wander around Kings Park or Araluen and try not to have the negative thoughts about being alone finally and think about my future. I have a ticket to book soon to EU! I am very excited about that.
edit: 15:00
M knows how crappy i felt last night, and he understood.