It’s raining in Perth!
I can’t wait to go for a walk in the rain. It’s been so dry, and damn sunny. I am so sick of seeing nothing but blue skies and the sun. I am sure this is in contrast to all those living in towns/cities/countries where all they see is rain and clouds and I know a friend of mine objects to his winters due to the darkness.. but it even is sunny in winter in Perth. Only rains at night 
In any case - when I finish doing this support shift, I am off for a long walk in the rain to enjoy the smell of wet grass and river water stirred up. To listen to the trees whisper in the wind with branches laden with water drops, to hear the birds and the frogs singing merrily. I forget that winter for most people is a dreary time, whereas for me, I see all the good things, trees and grass lose their yellow/brown appearance and start looking alive, waterfoul playing in water and not just pools of mud. The energy in the air after a rainy day is just electrifying.
I have been looking at different places to move into. I’ve seen some which look ok, but all depends on when M can find a housemate. Pretty soon I hope. We had an argument yesterday and I was pretty frank about my feelings about the matter. I finally am getting angry and I ended up yelling at him that the sooner he finds someone the sooner I can leave this house. That shocked both of us. Later on in the evening we talked about it, and he was cool with me yelling at him. Said that I needed to get angry - but really, I find it pointless. I have no one to aim my anger at.
I’ve considered going to a shrink and talking about it. Get the rage out of my system and move on. I’ll probably do that when I have a day off, I’ll organise a session with the shrink M goes to. Since she’s aware of his side of his story, and I am the ex, might be an idea to talk to her so she can get the complete story. Give me some ideas on how to process the final chapter of my life with M. Then I can move on with my own. Start again - whether it be here or elsewhere, at least now I have my life back. 11 years is a long time. I won’t forget that in a hurry either.