This round of being ill has knocked me for 6 in more of a mental and emotional way rather than physical. I am finding however that I am experiencing physical manifestions of my stress. It’s not work place stress. I am using work as an excuse to do avoid thinking alot. M and I went to dinner on Thursday and he just ranted and ranted and ranted and I was thinking, I want to go home and cry.

One of the cats was sick so we went up to the Vet surgeon’s to get shots and antibiotics and $84 dollars later, we dropped the wee beasty off and went to have dinner at Carousel. I listened to him rave about his mum, his councillor, his work, his online friends, and his decisions which show to me that he’s made up his mind. Not that my heart was cracking up or breaking, but I think perhaps I really am facing up to the loss of M is more of a reality and I will have to, sooner or later stop seeing him altogether.

I faced up to a few things this week. I’ve been to the doctors and will go back again for a check up and a referral maybe.

I missed out on the lunch due to being sick so I am not special anymore …

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