Open letter to the woman upstairs
Hi there
I’m lori, I live in the unit below you. I have a few things I need to comment on.
1: Your children.
Your baby cries day and night when I am a shift worker, until I have my own screamer, I prefer not to hear any cries of human beings until they are at least adults and having fun when they are screaming. Your son plays crap music, and please stop overfeeding him.
2: Your walking around on high heels at all hours. When you get home from work, take your shoes OFF. High heels should not be worn for an hour after you get home, the clip clopping drives me insane. I understand why you wear them? You’re about 5ft0 in your bare feet, and 4 inch heels may make your legs look remotely long, but think about your old age. You are going to have bunions, short calf muscles, and toes which point in different directions.
3: Why must you then, after taking your high heels off, whump around your rooms like you’re an elephant? You’re no where near elephant proportions, maybe cowlike, but not that big that it justifies walking around like you’re squashing cockroaches.
4: I hate how you pause on the landing outside my front door and look inside. I don’t have anything worth stealing, and obviously since you purchased the unit upstairs outright you are assessing my level of income. I guess not everyone can afford to live up to your standards, and yes, everything you see from the door is second hand.
5: Your son is a pervert. I have lost count of the times he has tried to peer through the frosted glass into my bathroom from the landing. Lucky for me he can’t see, I don’t shower with the light on, and I have a fantabulous shower curtain.
6: You keep parking in my carbay. It’s mine, you have yours, I have mine. It was YOU who also reversed into my front bumper As a result, I have reinsured my car so that if I need to, I can get the damage from your crappy parking skills fixed. Oh by the way, you left your headlights on tonight, good luck starting the car in the morning. I hope you are with the RAC.
Regards,
Your SINK (single income no kids) below.
January 18th, 2006 at 8:45 am
Sock it to her. I’d just about forgotten how bad living in flats was. Australians are not social creatures and shouldn’t live so close. If only they made flats with thick enough walls and floors.
January 18th, 2006 at 10:57 am
Sounds like you have a healthy relationship with your neighbours. We don’t live in a flat but we live in closely packed houses.
Our neighbours came to visit us when we moved in and asked all the questions etc, they dropped the comment “ahh so you’ve got a bachelors pad, lots of late night partys!” obviously alluding to the fact that they weren’t too keen on being kept up late.
It ended up being that we have only once had a real loud late night party and on the other hand it’s been their kids that have woken us up at ridiculous hours of the morning (5:30am) shouting, screaming and running round.
Bloody neighbours.
January 18th, 2006 at 12:33 pm
Just give her the letter, it’s not threatening therefore it’s legal. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of neigbourly banter now and again.
January 18th, 2006 at 9:41 pm
Please, please send the letter, and then can you write one similar for me? i live underneath a dude who moves his furniture around at MIDNIGHT!
January 18th, 2006 at 10:09 pm
Steph:: OMG the ppl who got evicted who live below me used to do that too, it REALLY BUGGED ME
Hammy: I would like to live in a place where the walls weren’t hollow.
Mintox: I avoid eyecontact with as many of my neighbours as possible.
Tom: I don’t think i am going to give her a letter where I tell her she walks like an elephant and is the size of a cow..