The Angry Dieter

Wordpress is screwed at the moment. I have no idea what is broken, but there’s a few things missing, like buttons.

Anyways..

Merry Christmas everyone.

I’ve had a mixed day. Watching people at work eat their chrissy lunch and have fun whilst I had to occaisionally be the spoiler of their fun when they got too loud.

I watched people make plans and go off, and as i wandered through the call centre and down the stairs into the hot afternoon after work was done, I thought about my friends.

I haven’t seen any of my old crew in 6 months, except for A. I wondered if it was because we’re just too busy, but I think it’s I have grown apart. I have a few good friends that I have made through work, but there’s something else. I don’t really feel close to anyone anymore. I am withdrawing.

I think it’s because I want to move overseas and just do my own thing. Be it with MM, or just getting out there and living life. The less ties I have, the easier it will be to not miss home.

Someone I do miss, is MM. He’s out with family, and this weekend we haven’t talked at all, and of course  I worry that he will forget me. I know it’s stupid, but every day I think about a conversation we have had, and I miss him more. With that thought, I start thinking that I am letting someone else control my life, or giving my independence away so soon after getting it back. I want him, but it’s commitment. After X, after 11 years, I am scared of being with someone again and being hurt like I was last time, or wasting another 11 years of my life.

So with that thought, I want to wish everyone something positive for their lives. I hope you got what you wanted for christmas.

December 26th, 2006 | Category: Family, Friends | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL