Becoming sociable!
When starting at a new company, it’s essential to figure out where the lie of the land is. Who do you need to get to know, how are you going to fit in? If you come in as a pleb, it’s easier to make friends, and get out there and find out what’s going on, and if you have a nasty experience, you can run back to your original posse. When you come in as basically, lower middle management, and you’re on your own - well that’s different. You basically eat lunch alone, go on tea breaks alone, go sit in induction with your fellow inductees (and that new boss) have a laugh, do some quizzes, then you’re left to your own devices.
I find this an uncomfortable place to be in. At my old workplace, when I became a team leader, many of the other TL’s weren’t that accepting of me. I still had my friends I’d made already in the call centre, lucky for me, I did have a couple of other TL’s who were also friends, but I still found it hard to fit in. It took nearly a year for me to make friends with a couple of the TL’s and they ended up being pretty amazing women. I regret that it took so long for things to thaw between us. So, now I’m the new TL. I have to start to getting to know my co-workers, I have to work on them, and depend on them. They have to get to know me. So, it’s off to the pub for free drinks! (looking like a good career move already) and then after a meeting where I was almost bored to tears, to a cricket match, involving of course, lots of alcohol.
Ultimately, I don’t want to be the spare wheel in one of those uncomfortable awkward social situations. It’s a peer thing I guess, I feel like reverting back to when I was a kid and wanting to belong, and that’s perfectly normal. I’m used to being able to wander around and sitting down with people and having lunch, having a laugh, or running off with friends because we’re up to something.
So I’ve become paranoid, I’ve changed my BO killer, just in case the other one would mysteriously stop working, I make sure I blow my nose before I go to work ever day, no one wants to go to the loo, look in the mirror and see one of those evil nasal boogers swinging around each time you inhale and exhale. I try and minimise my worst features, make sure I smile alot, and keep my mouth shut unless the next thing I say actually does contribute to the conversation. I try not to be too witty, or sarcastic, or evil, just in case people think I’m arrogant.
GAH! damn peer pressure at this age, I don’t want the kids in the school yard to laugh at me!
March 16th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Sounds GOOOOOD.
You could be worse. You could be one of those arrogant DH’s who blows in, tells everybody what to do, runs around squarking a whole lot, pisses everybody off.
If you find the lie of the land first, then when you do want to make a point, or tell somebody what to do, you will be doing so from a well-informed point of view. Harder to argue with and easier to be respected when you know what you are talking about.
March 17th, 2008 at 5:09 am
That extra $10k is just going to be used making friends? Damn. I guess I hadn’t considered the problem of being a blow-in when starting the new job. When I took my job I knew a few of the people that I would be working with so it wasn’t that difficult to fit in. Hope you’ve found a cheap pub!
March 17th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
haha..
just need to turn up when the drinks are free hammy!
today we had free pizza!
March 21st, 2008 at 9:10 am
Oh, I soooo know how this feels. I am exactly the same.
Good luck with the new job!