Life’s been full on since I started my new job. So I’ll go from top down…

Social life: went to a wedding, there were light sabres involved - very cool. The most difficult thing for me, was realising I still had some issues to work through regarding cross dressing males. I sat next to a really lovely man. His girlfriend was there at the same table, she was pregnant, glowing, gorgeous! and you could see they loved eachother. My only problem, was when I saw him standing, and he was wearing a skirt, with high heels, waxed legs, and painted toenails - that caused me some issues. However, I focussed on the man, and not my memories of when I walked in on X, and he was wearing less than this bloke.

I’ve been invited out to a few social events through my new job already. New geek friends have been made, and I’m happy, got a ball to go to, dinners, movie nights.. it’s all happening!

Personal life: Things are happy in that department. I miss him though. Does anyone know a good immigration lawyer?
Family life: love my parents, I have been showing them the photo’s that I have taken over time with MM. They are pretty impressed with those too! The URL for that is: http://wingbitch.com/gallery/

Work: I’m still learning new stuff, I think my idea of a lot of work, and others ideas of a lot of work are vastly different. The new team I have are great. Very intelligent bunch of people that I am happy to look after.

I have taken on 4 new staff from my old team at my old work. They all got jobs now!! On the sad story side, the rest of the department I worked in was made redundant this week, about 60 call centre staff all gone, including team leaders. There’s only skeleton staff there now, and they are all expecting the Axe to fall soon. The assholes, I hope the shareholders rot in hell. They deserved to be treated better than that.

Health: I’ve started changing a few aspects of my life to push me into being a more rounded person. I have been investigating the Raw food lifestyle and downloading podcasts on the subject. It seems like it would be ideal. Essentially, it’s eating all food the way nature intended - uncooked. I am talking about vegetables only, not meats or dairy. Going 100% raw is a bit extreme I think at this stage as I am still investigating, but I think if I can do 50/50 that would be good. I’m also cutting out coffee, to one per day. No more, no less. I have also got a latin dancing DVD that I am picking up at the post office tomorrow, that’s exciting! I like latin dancing and I’m waiting for my food chopper thingy to arrive!

Tenancy Blues: Alas, Alack, my landlord has mentioned the word - rent increase. Yet another, less than 3 months after the previous ones. He wants to redo the flat, and bump up the rent to $300 per week. I know someone will pay that much for it, but it’s not going to be me. I will have to find another place to live, and I may have something sussed in Subiaco, I hope.

That about it, nothing pithy. I feel angsty about my old work, but we have to move on from that. I am excited about my new job, and my new life that’s starting. I am on the way to something great.

It’s coming soon, my MM is going to be with me. Still freaking out about it, I don’t have future plans to speak of. I used to have plans, and they didn’t work out due to X being who he is. Now I’m in a relationship with no real outcome at the end. So why am I in it? No idea, cept that I really like him and he makes me happy, I do want an outcome, just not so sure if he wants it. I know what he says, but actions to me speak louder than words.
I have time off from work, 18 months I have worked without a holiday, and I have come close to breaking point many times - skating on the edge of sanity. Devastated when I discovered that I couldn’t quit my job when I wanted to. That was like having my heart ripped out. Dave has mentioned I tend to talk about work — I haven’t mentioned anything about work recently because by now it would be far too easy to get into trouble since the management team currently in place in Sydney are net savvy and did a facebook raid a few weeks ago. That was funny, so people panicked, deleted comments in various groups and those of us who didn’t say anything stupid just laughed.

I feel like they are going to shut down where I work, if they do that, that’s fine - just give me an end date please.

All I care about right now is spending time with MM. avoiding people and just enjoying each-other’s company. I made it through the toughest 6 months I’ve had probably in the last couple of years as November draws to a close. I am almost hysterical with relief.

Its official.  [edited @ 3.30pm today for clarity and detail]

It’s my birthday. My activities over the weekend have been many. Went out to a party on friday, got drunk, ate chinese food. Went back to someone’s house, played spics and specks on their DVD, and then passed out at 2am on Sat morning.

Of course, whilst we (j & I) were waiting for the taxi, we opened up a bottle of wine and drank it on the kerb like a couple of derros. By the time we got to the restaurant I was half cut. We drank the rest of the wine in between courses, and I had this chilli squid dish that was so hot, that my mouth went numb. I couldn’t taste the wine or the food anymore after that.

Saturday was recovery day. Sunday I went out with the parentals and my sister to the WA Maritime Museum. Never been before and my suggestion if you are in Perth, and plan on going, put aside more than 2 hours. The museum is so huge we haven’t finished going through it. So we’re going to book outselves a session at the museum again so we can finish looking at everything, and go on the submarine tour!

It was a little like going to see the Norwegian Maritime Museum in Norway for some bits (boring stuff). Lots of different kinds of boats, bits of fishing material - this interactive stuff like dummies wearing bed sheets talking to you. Great for kids, when you are an adult, it’s a little cliched. There is an exhibition at the moment about the discovery of WA, from the Dutch, to the French, to the English. Of course, we didn’t see the real Vlamingh plate, or Hartog plate, but we saw replicas and that was OK i suppose.

Today, going to the Perth Mint, never been there before, all part of my educational birthday theme this year. Hopefully I will learn something on this visit aswell. Dad then told me last nigh that he installed some kind of exhaust pipe for something in their basement. Interesting

I am home at 3.30pm and now have a fully charged ipod. it’s no different to any other mp3 player, cept the cool thing is i can play videos on it, store all my photos on it (all 4.5gig of em) and play games on it. Bizarre! I purchased some car chargey goodness for the ipod. I can’t stand the idea of leaving my laptop on all day to charge the thing.

OK: The Perth mint tour was .. interesting. It was short, there wasn’t too much to see in reality, because lets face it, it has gold bullion stored somewhere in it, and you can’t take photos. We got to strike a coin. Well J did, we put it in the machine, it rumbled, and spat out a copper coin, with some stuff about the mint on it.

The highlight for me .. watching the gold bar get poured and created, hearing about the amount of gold they retrieved from cleaning the smelting room, lifting the gold bar (it was only 12.5 kilos heavy) and checking out the awesome display of gold ingots.

Another thing on my to do list is struck off, and that’s to eat some gold. I saw when I was a kid, this cake layered in gold, and I thought that would be awesome to do. So I purchased some gold brushed chocolate. Ok it’s creme de menthe, but who cares! I will be eating gold! woohoo!

I miss MM i hope we can talk tonight.

My sister and I went to Pink at Challenge Stadium last night. My sister was running a little late, finished work later than normal. That was OK, I had managed to have a pretty relaxing afternoon with mum and was prepared and looking hot! We will start this post with a summary of my afternoon.

Mum and I had been looking for some Mattress Pads, IKEA don’t sell doubles. Only single and queensize. I only have a double bed. I need a mattress pad on the bed I am sleeping on due to the uncomfy nature of lying on a sofabed, where I can feel the metal railings when I roll over. On the otherhand, at the moment, I am just too tired to care most of the time, but I would like to have a bit more of a comfy sleep. So.. Clark Rubber here we come.

Getting back to P!NK… We rocked up at around 7.45pm and parked on the roadside, the car parks looked chockers and there were people still arriving even though the doors were open. We slipped into a queue to get in and made our way to the stadium, and they were really strict on who entered with bags, and bottles, and even had my bag searched (they found a mobile phone switched off).

The first act was The Androids, They were as bad as other people who had been to pink previous had said. They were so boring, they played some songs about some shit, not sure. My sister and I went and found some water, and sat in a door way whilst they played, and we stared at the people walking in and out, and they stared at us. The worst thing, is despite the fact I am overly round, I saw more rotund women than skinny. I am a reformed fatty, but I saw women that just shouldn’t have been wearing short skirts with their plump white doughy legs.

I chose to disguise my generous figure with jeans, a nice purple shirt showing off my awesome cleavage helped with a very well designed bra. I don’t need anything like a U bra, but this was an impressive cleavage bra. Enhance the positives! Anyways, my sister was dressed up nicely too, nothing too revealing, and both of us were not impressed with some of the clothing we saw. I beleive that if you are a big chick, you don’t wear skin tight clothing, if you are a thin chick with bones and ribs sticking out of your body, don’t wear things which make you look like you just came out of a concentration camp.

The concert itself was awesome. She had this voice so powerful that as she belted out some of her hits, like “who knew” you just got goosebumps. Other songs, she didn’t sing herself, but she danced and performed as a support act for it. Then she sat down on a stool in a simple white dress, with 3 others and sang some of her ballads. The song that is my favourite, family portrait was up, and she wore a grey smock and she sang it. Gave me goosebumps.

Girls were carried out periodically due to nearly fainting in the crush of the main floor. The heat rolled off the bodies towards us as we stood off to the side, so if needed we could get away quickly. We were close enough to be able to watch pink, without needing to stare at the vid screens on either side of the stage. A very good night in all.

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I went out last night to a friend’s house for dinner. Her father in law made this awesome indian meal, I couldn’t even tell you about the various dishes that we had. I do know that cardamon was used by the handful, and that is one of my favourite spices of all time. The night was ended with some very nice chocolate fondu, marshmallows and fruit. I only had a couple of bits, I didn’t want to over eat.

I also have now caught up with a friend who was at the dinner and they asked me a question about D. Whether or not we had a fight recently. They commented to me, that D had been bitching about me and something I said. To their way of thinking, if I have had a go at someone, they probably deserved it. I confirmed that D and I had a falling out in November 06, in email.  So I replied that I would still consider her a friend, and it would be up to her. She never spoke to me again. I saw her a few weeks ago for dimsum, where I took J with me for reinforcements since I thought it possible that D might ignore me, and make it difficult for me to chat, she didn’t and I had the bonus of having J there so we both had a good time.

Someone has now told me that D had been telling people that X and I had broken up due to him being gay, apparently, they have corrected her. It brings into light 2 things.

1: perhaps i didn’t tell her because i was possibly worried about the gossip factor

2: she has been bitching about me behind my back.

I am far from perfect. I was embarrassed about what had happened to my relationship. I hadn’t figured it out, that I was sleeping with a man, who wanted to be a woman. My judgement was and is so skewed, I don’t know what is normal anymore based on experience with a fake man for 11 years.

I would like to see anyone go through what I have been through, and not be a little bristley and damaged. I have apologised to everyone who I hurt during those years when I was dealing with my personal life. I apologised to D. I am a better friend now than I was then, and I appreciate those who have let me deal with my shit, and welcomed me back.

If me (technically single) being at a party full of couples spoils D’s night? What a shame. Don’t think I didn’t hear about that comment either.

I normally don’t edit posts, but I have read this one, and decided to remove certain things. Not everyone needs to read it on the intarweb.

I am feeling a little annoyed at the world. For no particular reason than, Just stupid people asking me stupid questions.

I feel ignored by certain friends atm, and I know I haven’t pissed off anyone there.

I had to speak to a customer who just wanted to cry about her frigging phone bill, she signed up to these 3rd party companies in the first place! I have seen the traffic history.

I am irritated by the move I have to make this weekend, back to my parentals place.

I am irritated by men who know i am spoken for, but persist in talking to me about meeting up for a good time. So to speak. Had an awkward moment at the office today about it. I should probably walk around the office with a brand or something. I liked my engagement ring, that told everyone I was spoken for. Now I need to cover my desk in photos. Must be the day for it.

I have no idea what I am doing for work with this project I have, I am just going to put some shit together, go talk to some others who like to give ideas and see what I am missing. I really feel like.. I have an end goal, but how to get there, I can do it, but I just don’t know if it is in the right direction. Meh, they will just have to deal with it when i come up with the final product. If I ask advice on what people want, that should give me a direction. I will definitely need to ask for some clarifying questions.

I am stressing out badly about this move back home to parentals. ok.. thats all i have tonight, my brain cant function.

Firstly, I miss MM. Just need to get that out there, cuz right now it’s all I think about.

My friday was great. My special consultant had his last day, no more do I need to screech out his name across the call centre when he is flitting from desk to desk getting his water, when he really does need to be sitting down and working. We had a kick ass team meeting, we ate food and discussed work and food, and other such fun things. Only thing I felt disappointed about, was that ppl didn’t know anything about our KPI’s, which I have covered before during individual coaching sessions. Ah well, I have an idea on how to fix that, so no biggie.

Saturday.. lets see. Organised lunch with friends @ dimsum and invited JJ. D was there and completely ignored me. Not surprising since she and I had words in writing, in an email and I am over it. S is pregnant, and I think that is awesome. Went out afterwards and purchased some clothes for work. I was happy with my booty and I am going to look purdy! Sat night, got absolutely maggotted on alcoholic fruit punch at a 21st. I haven’t been to a backyard party for ages, and it was a good reminder on how much fun they are. I didn’t make too much of a fool of myself which is great.

Sunday.. i went to bed after trying to sober up at about 5.30am in the morning, got up at 10am after my sister rang. She came over to have a shower (long story but her water heater blew up). We went to the parental unit’s place. She got flowers and a card, i got the chocolates and a book for mum, we combined the gifts for mum. Dad on the other hand has health issues, and is now on blood pressure tablets. Seems as though his weight and blood pressure has skyrocketed since his enforced home stay after his accident. Rather than exercise to get it off, he has taken the pills option instead.

Flat is now starting to look less flat like, and a little more chaotic. I need to get rid of so much junk in here, I really don’t need any of it. I have to get rid of excess clothes next!…

Nothing witty right now to say.. have a good week.

Today JJ thought it would be a great idea to go bowling.

“yes!, sounds good” i texted back, instantly thinking about what i needed to wear, and I needed a shower. I had been bumming around on IRC for an hour whilst I was waiting for my washing to finish in the machine.

“cool, you book and let me know time” she replied.

So I booked for our intrepid bowling adventure, washed my hair, problem is I am losing alot of hair at the moment, I wonder if it is to do with stress, or the shampoo.. freakout.. anyways getting back to the bowling thing.

I rang her to confirm the booking and hooned to AMF bowling centre about 20 mins from my place and was met with bogans.

They had come out of hiding to socialise with eachother. The music was appalling, with cyndi lauper, madonna, bon jovi all playing in the background, with some emo Robbie Williams in the background. I noticed that people pay to put their music selections in this jukebox thing, so then the entire centre is subjected to their choice of music.

The lights were dimmed and JJ and I took to the alley. No gutter guards for us thank you! We were women on a mission. To throw big balls down an oiled pinewood alley and smack the hell out of those pins.

Well i didnt do that great, I never do, I certainly didn’t cover myself with glory with some .. rounds not actually resulting in me knocking one pin down at all. Instead I flung ball after ball down with no luck. I tried different weighted balls, 6 pounders, 8 pounders, 10 pounders and a 12 pounder. The 12 pound ball as I swung my arm backwards, flung itself away from my fingers at the top of the arc. it flew behind me, narrowly missing some small blonde bogan kid wearing jeans and flannel shirt. JJ and I just started laughing.. and I ended up incapable of doing much.. so I found a smaller ball and flung it down, it bounced three times down the alley and guttered itself.

Second game was much better, No rounds went past without me getting some kind of score. However lets summarise the das action.

middle and index finger on left hand.. sore, barely can bend
thumb on left hand.. blistered
left forearm.. sore to touch
left shoulder and elbow.. owwies too
groin muscle.. well even IF MM was here, no sex for me.

Great day, we need to do it again soon.